With all the social taboos on the topic, we often don’t talk about the realities of sex enough. Because of long-ingrained messages of shame, sex just isn’t as enjoyable for many as it could be. Today’s guest is on a mission to break down the misconceptions and help women make the intimate and pleasurable sexual connections they desire.

 

LISTEN TO EPISODE 73 OF THE FED AND FEARLESS PODCAST

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About Dr. Celeste Holbrook

Dr. Celeste Holbrook is a sexologist, speaker, and author. Through her work, designing sexual and spiritual strategies, she helps her clients evolve into the women they were created to be. She covers a variety of topics from sex drives, sexual shame, creating better connections, wellness, and so much more. Her mission is to educate women on how to improve their relationship and sex life as well as grow in confidence, spirituality, and love. Dr. Celeste has been featured in Women’s Health Magazine, Mothers of Preschoolers, Reader’s Digest, and many more.

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Erasing the Shame of Sexuality

So many of the hangups concerning sex are rooted in shame. Celeste and I dive into why this is. Often, it’s simply because sex isn’t talked about openly. And when it is, there are too often negative connotations associated with it. As a result, sexual shame can manifest in many indirect ways, such as low libido, pain, and feelings of low self-worth. 

With purity culture as part of the upbringings of many Christians, many unintended messages have been ingrained in us concerning sex. The idea that premarital sex is bad or dangerous and that your body is not entirely yours can do some real harm. However, it’s never too late to unlearn these lessons and take control of your sexuality.

 

Eliminating Societal Pressure

When it comes down to it, connecting and finding pleasure with your partner is usually the goal of sex. To help others achieve this, Celeste teaches women to unlearn the lie that their bodies are solely responsible for the pleasure of a sexual experience. Rather, sex is a way for two people to mutually experience pleasure together. 

Celeste explains how eliminating societal pressures surrounding sex is the key to making it pleasurable. The fact of the matter is, having good sex is a life-long learning process. There are things that must be unlearned and others that need to be intentionally practiced and relearned over time.

How have you had to unlearn negative messages about sex? Leave a comment below! 

 

Got a question you’d love to hear me answer on the show? Leave me a voice message here!

 

IN THIS EPISODE

• Using a background in health education and behavior to help others move away from painful sex [6:00]
• Why Christian women often have shameful associations with sex [9:55]
• Common consequences of sexual shame [20:15]
• Actionable steps to be more present during sex [35:30]
• Overcoming physical challenges and pain [40:20]
• Practical exercises to increase sexual enjoyment [51:03]

 

QUOTES

“Through education and understanding my own body better, I started to have sex that was less painful… and eventually just not painful, but actually pleasurable and connected and intimate and all the things that we want sex to be.” [8:37]

“You’re essentially telling that woman that her body is responsible for the arousal of men. That becomes problematic when you get married or choose to start having sex because you feel solely responsible for his pleasure when in reality sex it two individual people owning their own pleasure and co-creating this really awesome sexual experience.” [21:00]

“Creating intentionality around sex can make sex happen more and it can be so much better because you have thoughtfully looked into what environment and situation helps you get into sex.” [55:49]

 

LINKS

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20 Sex Enhancing Questions

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